Times & Seasons

I've always believed there is a time and a season for everything in our lives.  When I was a young mother, more seasoned moms would tell me to enjoy my little ones, that it was my season to be busy with toddlers and babies.  I tried to do that, though not always successfully.  I find myself wishing I had done more and appreciated those cuddle times and one-on-one times.  It has been that way with my church responsibilities, too.  Whenever I received a call to service in the Church, I was reminded that it was my season and time to be in the calling I was given from the Lord.  Sometimes that was a great comfort; other times, it just added to the worry and stress.

A few weeks ago, I was released from my current calling in the Relief Society organization.  My bishop specifically reminded me that it was my time and season to concentrate on healing and strength and miracles and faith.  I had to admit that I have been feeling very guilty lately when I was too sick or tired to attend meetings or help the other members of the presidency carry their heavy loads.  It seemed selfish to me that I should be released when these four other women are either working full time or are new mothers with tiny babies and toddlers...what reason did I have to complain about a stomach troubles or bone-aching weariness, which I'm sure they all shared, as well.  And as I thought about this release, I honestly couldn't remember a time that I have not been serving in some capacity in the Church, starting with my first real calling as the Junior Primary Chorister in Las Vegas at the age of 14.  In those days, long ago, Primary met on Wednesday afternoons after school.  I loved those days.  I loved to sing and I loved to make cutesy visual aids to help the little ones learn new songs.  Best job ever!  I've had some tougher callings since then, but there was always something to do and I knew I could rely on the Lord to carry me through my insecurities and inabilities.

I do have a new calling, given just seconds after the release, but it will mostly involve phone work.  I can do that, weary or not.  I'm grateful for it, even though it is a calling that has typically been given to the "old ladies".  Not in our ward, though; we don't have enough old ladies!  It also makes me feel that I am slipping, much like the occasional tummy problems and the aches and pains and the need for a 2:00 nap every day.  I am not what I was two years ago...or even one year ago.  I have an evil cancer, I am thin to the point of worry, I can barely make it up a flight of stairs some days...  Ooh, I hate it.  But for all that I can't do, there is still much I can do.  I made it to the temple this week and I cried and cried.  I'll make it there another time this month, too, I know I will.  There is a time and a season...and this is mine.

(Picture:  my sweet friends in the Relief Society presidency--Whitney Tibbs, Lauren Kelly, Ann Pearson, and Candice Flammer.  I love these beautiful girls dearly!)