Friday, April 19, 2013

What a difference a week makes...

I had a terribly stressful week last week. I was bogged down with an avalanche of papers as I tried to get my tax stuff together. It was pretty much all in one place, but all those medical receipts & bills still needed to be organized & counted. It was so stressful that I was lying awake at night, thinking of what needed to be done, until I finally would have to get up in the wee hours, creep into my office, shut the door & turn on the light, and do what I could for a few hours. Ugh. Then I stressed that Barb, the tax lady from last year, wouldn't have time to prepare our returns since I had left it to the last minute. Happily, the first "tender mercy" of the week was a perfect appointment at 9:30 on Thursday morning, April 11th. Sweet Barbara - when I told her how anxious I'd been, she said, "oh, don't ever worry about your taxes. I'll take care of everything." It was such a blessing.
Friday, the 12th, I was scheduled for CT scans and a brain MRI. More stress. Every little ache & pain felt like the beginnings of a new tumor...or three...or 12. I imagined my brain would be bulging with tumors since headaches were coming and going all week. It was the same as it always is just before my scans, but my stress level seemed twice as huge. I wanted so much to be able to qualify for the PD-1 trial, but new tumors would certainly disqualify me. No wonder my stomach was in knots and my head was pounding.
Next tender mercy was that my new port worked absolutely perfectly! First poke - and no numbing cream! - and blood tests were done and I was accessed for the scan IV! This HAD to be a good sign! Scans were quick & easy, and the MRI seemed to take much less time than usual. Dean & Ness were in the waiting room & had been visited by the lady with the snack cart, so they were happy. The only downside was that I would have to wait through the weekend until Tuesday to get the results from Dr. Grossmann.
On Tuesday morning, Linds & I were at the clinic a little before 10 AM. No early blood work since I'd already had tests before the scans. Hopefully, Dr. G was already looking over them and going over the scan results. After checking in, I sat beside Linds in the waiting area. I saw Dr. G come into the clinic & he gave me a small wave, but didn't smile. I was more nervous than ever. I always imagine the worst, the dialogue of bad news ever present in my mind. I imagine the words & how I'd react, the weight of them heavy on my heart. I can never seem to imagine good news...maybe because I know how that would feel. Finally we were called back into the exam room. We were both pretty quiet. Later, Lindsey said she was worried when she didn't see Darren, the trial manager. It seemed to prove that I hadn't qualified for the trial. Scary. Dr. Grossmann came in at last & after saying hello, he sat down at the computer and stated, "Well, your scans look great. There is definite improvement." Did we hear him right? Both Linds & I start asking questions - are the existing tumors shrinking? are there new tumors? Dr. G explains that I'm a "slow responder" - that the IPI was still working and working well. Two of the liver tumors had shrunk "significantly" & the third was hard to pick out on the scan - too small now?? The groin tumors were also smaller and my brain looked "wonderful". There was one little glitch and that was that I can now feel the small tumor on the left side of my back, though it could not be felt before. Dr. G wondered if that could have come about because of my drastic weight loss. He also looked at the blood tests and said that the iron infusions had worked & my blood levels were now normal. He was somewhat concerned about my liver function levels that had slowly trended higher for the past few months. He wanted me to have a specialized blood test as soon as possible; if it continued to go "up", there might be a need for a liver biopsy. Otherwise, he declared that since the IPI was continuing to work, I would not need to apply for the trial but would go back on a 3-month scan schedule, which meant I would not need to go back to Huntsman until July (other than for the liver test). Oh happy day! Both Linds & I were in shock! It was a "good news day"!
Today, a week since the scans, I went to the clinic for the liver blood test. I saw Darren (the trial manager) and he was happy about my good news, too. He said the trial would be there IF & when I might need it, but he was happy that things were looking better rather than worse. I also got to have my port accessed by Tammy, the lab nurse who was usually the one who had to prick & poke my poor arms to take tests or start IVs. She was thrilled with my port and how well it was working. It was so easy to take this latest test! Hooray! Later this afternoon, Dr. G's nurse, Nancy, called to say that the liver test was now trending "downward" and there would be no need for the biopsy. Another miracle in a long string of them throughout the week... And to think it all happened within seven days.
After I had finished my blood test, I walked down to the Wellness Center (where I had met with the nutritionist) & asked the kind lady at the desk if she could recommend any pamphlets or brochures about gaining strength & muscle again. She recommended a fitness program that could be specifically ordered just for me & my cancer - exercise, nutrition, physical therapy, even acupuncture! I first have to see if insurance will cover a visit with the fitness program director, Dr. Pamela Harris (?). If so, my first visit with her will be in two weeks. If they won't cover it, the kind lady said she'd figure out another plan we can do. It's one of the mottos of Huntsman - if Plan A doesn't work, we always have Plan B, C, or D. I love it.
I cannot attribute this week of miracles to anything special I did, but what the Lord did for me because of all the prayers by so many in my behalf. He alone took my "slow response" to IPI and made it work on my tumors. He alone blessed my blood tests to show improvement, some within just a few short days & weeks. It constantly amazes me. He knows me. He knows how my body & soul were stressed & sick...and He gave me hope again. I am so grateful, thankful beyond words. I love Him dearly.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so grateful you had a good news week. I hope the good news feelings carry you through while your body continues to heal. Love you.

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