May 30, 2012 - after major Whipple surgery and IV liquid food, first bite of REAL food (yummy grilled chicken) in 30 days...
May 30, 2013 - in between scans, just waiting - reading "The Light Between Oceans" in a quiet house with my puppy on my lap, showering late, no makeup, watching favorite movies ("Chocolat" and "This is it")...so far...
It's been an interesting year. No new surgeries, but introduction to the Infusion Center with the IPI treatments & iron infusions. Yep, this blasted cancer has kicked me to the curb a few times, but there is always an answer to beat it back. Continually fighting, whether it's shrinking tumors, gaining strength through exercise & physical therapy, eating, eating, eating, moving forward. LIVING with cancer, never dying from it. Dealing with stress, mostly financial, which I've come to realize ties me in knots and impedes healing as much as sun without sunscreen. Worry? Yes, always, because of my life-long weaknesses when it comes to money. Ugh. So frustrating. But with the anxiety comes the hope and desire to do better, be better, try harder...
So, I celebrate life with those I love: my good husband who works long days to give us a little more to pay those bills, my teenager who gives me support and a hand to hold and stories to make me laugh, my married kids who make me so proud of the good people they are & the families they are raising, my precious grands who brighten my days & shower me with hugs & smiles ("you know what I love? YOU!") and all my extended family. I do have to remember and remind others that I'm stronger than I look...I CAN do it & I WILL do it. I need encouragement, not "baby-ing", which makes me feel weaker... It's that worry gene in all of us & I understand and do it as much as anyone.
Just last week, our family celebrated the life of my precious Aunt Barbara. I miss her already. The computer was our lifeline to each other - she loved to send cards for all occasions through email, as well as encouraging thoughts. She remembered our special days & kept us in her heart and prayers. She always told us she loved us, sincerely & honestly. Celebrating life was her mission. Celebrating our individual lives was her passion & I always felt special reading her words. Love you, BAB...
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