Next

I finally know part of what's coming next. Tuesday morning, August 13, I am seeing one of Dr. G's associates, Dr. Khong, for the final screening process and lab work for the study/trial. I don't know what to expect with the screening, whether it's a general questionnaire or measurements of the ancillary tumors or something I haven't even considered yet; as for the lab work, I'm assuming it will be a collection of many tubes of blood. But who cares, as long as my trusty port is operating well, as usual! I'm seeing this new doctor because Dr. G will be out of the office next week & in order to stay within the timeframe of the study, I needed to be seen before August 15. Darren, the study guru, will be at the appointment, too, so I'm not too concerned with this turn of events. When everything is said & done Tuesday morning, Darren will call the study people on the phone, relay the results, and immediately hear the outcome of the computerized randomization - which arm of the trial I'll be participating in. Whatever is chosen for me, I will receive my first treatment that afternoon about 1:00 (well, let's just say that I'll be in the Infusion Center at 1:00 - I'm sure there will be more waiting as the drug is specially mixed at the pharmacy & I'm prepared to receive it...) Still praying mightily that I get the PD-1 chemo for less side effects & greater results. After that, the frequency of treatments will depend on which drug I get - standard chemo will be every 3 weeks and the PD-1 will be every 2 weeks, always on a Tuesday. Not sure how long a cycle is & when they scan to see how things are working, but I'm sure that's one of the questions to ask on Tuesday.

I have mixed feelings about it all, of course. Top priority is that things will finally start moving forward & the fight against the beast will begin. Worried about what it will take to keep up the fight. But one sliver of hope the last few weeks has been that my strength has increased - my balance is better, I have more good-feeling days than bad, I don't get as tired, I'm able to work a little longer & more often, I went to the temple & felt close to normal... It's those little things that make me rally and believe that  I'm being lifted up by Higher Powers. I've been down before, but I've bounced back... And I can do it again! Thinking happy thoughts, praying heart-felt prayers, singing & smiling, loving my babies (tiny and not-so-tiny), and expressing thanks. It's a good life.