Leaks

Friday, January 20, 2012: I got my regular blood test today after almost three weeks (during which I was off the Coumadin for the two endoscopy tests for a time). It came back 2.2, which is good, normal. Dr. Beckstead's email message simply states, "Therapeutic. Continue on current regimen and repeat INR in 2 weeks." So there. Normal. I'd be more happy, I guess, if I was doing it on my own without taking a pill every morning. Someday. I watched that little droplet of blood being scooped up into the testing monitor and thought - again - of how wonderful these bodies are and how grateful I am to be one of God's creations. He's genius, of course.

In the past few months, I've noticed a weird "new" thing, which I'm sure is a result of surgery and/or radiation or any number of things: I leak. Don't freak out, though. The leak is above my right ear. At first, I only noticed it when I'd eat spicy food, like hot salsa or smothered green burritos, and I'd feel this little trickle on the side of my cheek by my ear. I was amazed when I realized it was a huge drop of sweat! Only there, nowhere else! Then I started noticing it when I'd chew vigorously, like when I'd eat something hard and, well, chewy - French bread or taffy or toffee or raisins... I pointed it out to my family and their response was, "Gross!" I guess it is, kind of. But, I still shake my head in wonder every time I have to reach up and dab a napkin around my ear - this numb, "dead" ear that leaks. I must ask Dr. Avizonis about it when I see her in a few months.

And while I'm on the subject, why is it that I get all teary and emotional listening to my exercise DVD? I swear, every time Leslie talks to the television camera and says, "How are you doing? Are you okay? You can do it. You're a warrior," I get all choked up. Like she's really talking to ME...like she can see me sweat and hear my labored breathing and see me wincing as I try to do knee lifts with sore "degenerating" knees...it's kind of embarrassing. But it also makes me feel that what I'm doing is right, and believe me, I don't always feel that way. So, I leak out a few tears and brush away the drops from my ear and keep fighting...

(Pictures left to right: Grammy playing giant Candyland with Olive & Lachlan, March 27, 2011, the day before Knox was born, at Mom's villa in St. George. I was 40 lbs. heavier in this picture than I am today. It was 10 days after my left neck surgery. On the right, Grammy and baby Knox, one day old, March 29, 2011. I think I look pale and a little bit like a "deer in the headlights", but it was only 22 days since the news that I have melanoma...)