Softer

I had my 8th radiation treatment this morning. Everything seems to be going well, though I don't feel much of a change yet. Only 12 more treatments to go. The time spent on the freeway to Salt Lake every day is twice the time spent on the radiation table...

After the treatment, I met with Dr. A. She asked how I was doing & I told her there were no terrible side effects or pain - yet. Maybe there won't be any this time. She looked at both tumors and felt them. "I hope it's not my imagination," she said, "but they both feel softer to me." Softer would mean the tumors are breaking down! I like that thought. We're going with it, Dr. A & I. Gives me a lot of hope.

I definitely feel the fatigue part of radiation's effects. All I want about 3:00 is a nice, cozy nap, and I can usually get one. Summer is waning & fall will be here soon. Snuggling up with my soft blanket & warm puppy is a gift. 

I've been able to keep up with housework & cooking, but other than that, radiation & IPI infusions fill my head & schedule. It seems a pretty selfish life right now, but all in all, it's a good life. I have wonderful moments - even hours sometimes! - where I feel normal & healthy. I feel stronger than I did earlier this summer, and if I didn't have these tumors that I can feel & can't deny, I would feel healed. Hopefully there will come a day when the tumors will be gone, inside & out. That will be a miraculous day.