Blessed Life

September 14, 2011: Happy Birthday to my little 2 year-old Olive Lillie! Grammy loves you, precious girl...

Miracles abound in my life. My sweet mom is improving daily and has made huge strides since she came out of ICU. Her voice is back to normal, she is getting out of bed to potty and eat meals, she visits with eyes wide open, and she has a new "part" to keep her heart beating strong and regular. Dionne is comparing it to an iPod that needs a "dock" to keep it in sync. What a wonderful day and age we live in, where a tiny computer can be implanted under the skin in a "pocket" and then attached to the human heart to keep it going steady. My mom is alive because of the advances in the medical field. We are so blessed. If all goes well and Mom is moving and gaining strength, she will be released to the Coral Canyon rehab center in St. George on Friday. I know she is anxious to be home in Southern Utah. Dionne is eager to return to her little family and home in Washington. We all will be eager to leave behind our daily trips to the hospital and Room 1121.

While Mom is gaining strength, I am still rejoicing in the declaration that my scans on Monday were clear of cancer, except for the spot on my neck where that tiny lump was removed two weeks ago. Dr. Grossmann even went so far as to say, "You have a beautiful brain!" (I wonder if if it was because I was silently singing while the MRI on my brain was being done.) He had many recommendations and things to mull over and think through, as to next steps, but I was grateful that he didn't make me choose right away. When asked by Carolyn, his wonderful nurse, if radiation was in the future again, he said, "If there are more than 3 lymph nodes with cancer, radiation will be needed again. But, I highly doubt that will be the case." (I was whooping with joy when he said that!) I asked if there could be any question that there was still a melanoma on my scalp that could have contributed to this new lump and he said that he suspects it was lurking there all along, even during the first round of surgery and radiation. He also asked if he and Carolyn could do the "Gorillas in the Mist" test on my scalp to ease my mind and they proceeded to stand on either side of me and comb through my hair with their fingers, looking for suspicious spots, much like the gorillas do to each other to pick out nits and eat them! Happily, they didn't find anything. Dr. G said everything looked perfect and normal. While I do still have to have surgery early tomorrow morning, I feel very hopeful that there will be minimal lymph nodes with cancer. The fear of the unknown is gone because I KNOW - I know what to expect, I know what will happen, I know how long it will take to heal, I know what will come next if there are too many cancerous nodes. Of course, I'm nervous, but I'm not afraid. I just pray that all will go as planned and I'll heal quickly and be as pain-free as possible. I'm grateful to dear Lindsey for being my strength and support through this traumatic time. We will both miss Mom's funny sense of humor and her sunny disposition, even in the hospital setting. Everyone is her friend there, everyone gets a portion of her empathy, and we'll try to take those great qualities and go forward. Yes, I'll miss her by my side, but I'm thankful for Lindsey's love and compassion.

I have a blessed life, even though I wish we could erase the past two weeks. God must think we're really strong to give us so many challenges all bunched together. I hope we can prove Him right and give Him thanks. I know we will all be stronger for the experiences we've shared. The top of the hill doesn't seem so far away tonight than it did a few days ago. Upward we go...