Quiet on the Home Front

September 19, 2011: It's been four days since my 2nd neck dissection surgery, this time on the left side. I am home and have had a little nap, so feel strong enough at the moment to write about our experiences of the past few days.

First, to update on my sweet momma--she was released, good to go, from IMC on Saturday, September 17, and Troy drove her home to St. George to enter the Coral Desert Rehab Center. I am told by Britnee, who was there to see her off, that little Chester-dog stayed off of her fragile chest, but stood on the console between the front seats and licked Mom's face with complete joy! Troy had bought Mom a new soft "woobie" (blanket) and she snuggled in for the rainy trip home. As a family, we are forever indebted to the wonderful doctors and nurses who saved her life and brought her back from the unknown to a place where she can slowly heal and become her own "new best self." I love you, Mumsy.

My hospital experience began early Thursday morning, September 15, almost six months to the day from my last big neck surgery (March 17). Lindsey drove me to LDS Hospital, where we found we were second on Dr. Bradley's list of surgeries this time--not last, where the waiting was painful and endless. We were quickly whisked to the prep room where I not only had to don the ever-fashionable hospital gown and scrub pants, but a pair of long white compression socks, something I have not had to do before. Maybe because I'm six months older?? Even before the nurse can put in my IV, the orderlies are at the door, saying Dr. Bradley is ready for me! What a difference from the last time, where we waited HOURS for that news. I barely say goodbye to Linds before I'm on the gurney and rolling my way to surgery. The anesthesiologist calls me, "Linda Boynton", but I correct him. He asks if I'm "Sandra's" sister. I laugh and say, I wish, as rich as she must be with her funny animal cartoons. As he gives me the run-down on the procedure, Dr. Bradley appears, as anxious as I am to get the show on the road. The A-guy asks if I need a sedative BEFORE surgery to calm me, and when I say no, Dr. Bradley says, "She's the most calm, easy-going lady I've ever known." Cute. It's not long before I'm on the operating table, warm-from-the-oven blanket on top of me, arms strapped to my side, and the A-guy putting a mask over my mouth that will "make you feel like you're floating off the table." He and the nurses laugh about the people who want some to take home...and suddenly, I'm out for the count. It's about 9:30 in the morning, and I won't wake up again until about 1:45 PM.

The surgery goes well, Dr. B says. He tells Linds (who has waited for me in the crowded, noisy waiting room, eating her favorite Lorna Doone shortbread cookies and drinking Coke from a styrofoam cup with pebble ice) that he took everything he could--anything that looked like it should be tested for deadly cancer seeds, including another salivary gland from under my chin. He reiterated that he was very thorough, which is one of the main qualities we love about him. My new wound goes from below my left ear (he didn't have to take the paratid gland this time, so my ear was not part of the surgery), down along the neck fold and along the front of my throat. I haven't counted the staples yet, but I will. There are at least a dozen, maybe TWO dozen. The wound looks like a braided rope with a silver staple about every quarter-inch. I also had a drain that came from a hole below the incision up high on my neck (my other port hole scar is a little farther down on my chest). No big gauze bandages this time around for the first day, which I thought was interesting. Linds is amazed that I am awake and talking when she first sees me in my room, No. 744 West. The length of this surgery has definitely been less than the first and its effects on me are noticeable. I do feel more alert, though my eyes are heavy from the sedation. I didn't have to have a cathether this time, either, and I am VERY happy about that. I fill the bowl--and then some--the first time I get up to go potty. It's also still daytime, which makes it easier to "nap" and then open my eyes to talk and visit. I had a breathing tube during the surgery, which makes me think of my sweet Mumsy having one for DAYS and DAYS, and my throat hurts from just those few hours. I've got oxygen going in my nose and a monitor beeps every time my oxygen level goes too low or heart rate goes too high. I'm constantly taking deep breaths and trying not to send my heart racing. Dr. B comes in to see me and he's concerned that my bottom lip is paralyzed again. He said he tried hard not to bother that nerve, but my lip is showing the effects of being "touched". Linds says it's a line this time instead of droopy, kind of like when you get Novacaine at the dentist. I don't really mind--I know it will heal one of these days.

Visitors come that first night--Aaron, Dean, Janessa, and my wonderful friend, Ann. They are happy to see how well I'm doing. We know the pathology tests will not come back for a while and we are praying that the lymph nodes will have less than three cancer seeds in them. I ask Ann about our Stake Temple Day and she assures me that our Bountiful Temple was "overwhelmed" with sisters from all over the stake. It is wonderful news. I tell Ann that when I was in the recovery room, just waking up, I found myself singing, "I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday..." to myself and how it brought a spirit of peace to my heart. I have felt the power of all the prayers being offered in my behalf that day in the temple, and I feel so blessed.

My nurses and CNAs are all wonderful. Glen, my nurse as I come back from surgery, brings antiobiotic to put in my IV and sings and dances as he works, which makes Linds and I laugh. Dr. Bradley comes in to check my drain and quietly, but purposefully, instructs Glen how to make it suction properly. Dr. B asks me if I need anything, and then he turns to Glen and says, "Glen, can I do anything for you?" I am amazed at this small act of kindness between doctor and nurse. Glen tells us that the entire staff respects and loves Dr. B. Linds and I can only nod and say how much we love him, too. My night nurse is Kayla, who reminds me completely of Britnee. I am so grateful for her that night, as Linds and I settle in to try to get as much sleep as we can. For me, the fact that I'm lying on my back, my legs in the compression socks AND hooked up to the compression cuffs, I can't move around very well to get comfortable, and that I especially can't roll over on my FAVORITE sleeping side, the left side, at all means that it's going to be a very long night. Add to that the fact that the oxygen monitor beeps when my oxygen gets lower than 90, which happens every time I start to drift into deep sleep and my breathing naturally slows, which happens about every 15 minutes! The beeping wakes up Lindsey, who softly says, "Take a deep breath", and there I am, trying to breath deeply to stop the beeping noises, but as soon as it stops and I start to relax again to go to sleep, it starts all over again. This went on ALL NIGHT! I was a crazy woman! At one point, my little CNA, Virna, came in and I thought she said she turned up my oxygen, so I was excited to think that maybe I'd get a little sleep...but 15 minutes later, the beep went off and I was wide awake again. Finally, at 3 AM, I had to call Kayla. Not only was I a mess from the beeping, but now my legs were starting to go to sleep and I couldn't lay still. I wanted my blankets off, my socks off, the compression cuffs unhooked, and I wanted to get out of the stupid bed! She asked me a bunch of questions, and finally said, "Are you feeling anxious?" YESSSS!! Bless her heart, she got me out of bed, let me go potty, and then took me for a walk up and down the quiet, empty hall a couple of times until I was feeling much better. Unfortunately, when I asked if we could turn off the oxygen monitor for the rest of the night, she said no, and I got back into bed, steeling myself for the next few hours until morning broke. I've never been so happy to see the sun rise. I spent those hours until morning yelling in my head at the blasted machine, rehearsing what I would say to Dr. Bradley when he came by on his rounds (I was bound and determined NOT to spend another night like that again!), and silently praying that time would speed up and save me from my torture. When Kayla appeared before the shift change, I started to cry, and she said, "Oh, I wish I had known about your oxygen--I could have turned it up more." WHAT?? Don't you have a monitor somewhere showing you that my alarm has gone off every 15 minutes? When Dr. Bradley appeared and asked how I was, I told him, "Exhausted and emotional." He let me cry and told me he was sorry, that the nurses should have turned up my oxygen. He kept saying, "How frustrating." Yes, to say the least. That was my little breakdown. And though I hated to complain, I simply had to let them all know that I could not do that again.

Friday, Dr. B says that I have to stay at least until Saturday because of my drain, so the fight is on. My nurse is Kyley, a nice male nurse who proved to be just what I needed, as far as easy-going, let's let her do what she wants today after her horrible night. I was able to shower (with sweet Lindsey's help--I told her seeing me naked went way beyond "serving your mother-in-law"), get into a fresh gown and freshly-made bed, take off the wicked compression cuffs, take off the hated oxygen monitor, curl up on my RIGHT side, and go to sleep. Joy! It was wonderful. Either Dr. B gave the staff the word or they figured I was better on my own because I was hardly bothered all day long. The oxygen monitor stays off, the cuffs stay off, and I am free to sit in a chair, walk the halls, and rest as much as possible through the day. As evening approaches, Aaron comes with Ally. She barely hesitates at my wound before giving me a kiss and a hug. Dean and Ness arrive soon after, and Ness is eager to tell me all the news of the day. About an hour or so later, Chelsea and Robby and the kids arrive, having driven up from St. George. Lachlan is "shy" to see me, but soon warms up to another neck boo-boo on his Grammy. Olive doesn't want to come into the room and turns her head when I talk to her, but she, too, is soon climbing up on my bed and exploring my new digs. Knox is a roly-poly and I want to hold him, but when he reaches for the tube to my drain, I know I can't do that just yet. They stay and visit and then everyone leaves, except Chels, who will spend the night with me. We ask Virna for a "cot" and in comes a roll-away bed. Dr. B has also ordered a sleeping pill for me. "One or two?" my nurse, Emily, asks. I tell her I'll just try one, as I've never taken one before. Without the beeping monitor and the ability to move around in my bed, the night is sweet relief. I feel a hundred times better in the light of Saturday morning.

Dr. B arrives just before 7 AM. He checks everything out, asks if I've had a good night, and tells me that I can go home--but the drain has to go with me for another couple of days. He says to come to his Bountiful office at 7:50 Monday morning. Linds arrives and we are all excited to leave the hospital. I have another quick shower, with the help of my sweet Chelsea, and dress in real clothes. The drain will be a tricky thing to keep exposed. It pins to the front of my blouse, but the tubing hangs down like a necklace. Lovely, huh, especially with the blood flowing through it. It has to be emptied every few hours and Chelsea and Lindsey become experts at stripping the tubing and keeping the bulb drained. Ah, the things we have had to learn! A few minutes after Dr. B gives us our marching orders, he returns to my room, smiling. "I just talked to the pathologist," he says. "All the tests have come back negative. There is no cancer in anything we tested." I am flabbergasted! I absolutely did not expect this great news. I imagined one or two lymph nodes would come back positive, but NONE--this is the best news ever. "Good news for a happy weekend," he says, and it does make all the difference. We are in the car and on our way home by 10:00 AM.

I have been so blessed. I have very minimal pain. In fact, I decided not to get the Loritab prescription filled and just rely on Extra-Strength Tylenol, which has done the trick nicely. I've been able to rest during the day and sleep fairly well at night. I've been able to eat and drink pretty normally and visit with more of my family, including my little Avery and Jane and Britnee and EmiLee. I was able to take the Sacrament Sunday afternoon, which brought me much peace and gratitude for my Savior. This morning (Monday), Chels and I took Ness to school and were in Dr. Bradley's Bountiful office to get the drain out. I remembered the pain of taking out the first drain and was dreading that a bit, but it wasn't as bad as I remembered. Just a hard tug and some stinging and it was done. He didn't put a stitch in the port, just covered it with gauze, and throughout the morning, I've felt a little "drainage." But, all seems well. I'm able to rest and sit at my computer for a bit, and then climb into bed when I feel tired. I just can't complain. The miracles have been swirling around us again!

I talked to Lindsey this morning and we were saying how weird it will be this week not to go to a hospital, either to see Gram or me. That has been our normal for over two weeks. Maybe we can get back to a somewhat normal day-to-day again. Robby and Chelsea are in Park City right now, where Rob is undergoing an out-patient surgery to get a knot of varicose veins in his leg stripped and taken care of, so my thoughts and prayers are with him for a quick recovery and healing. Seems we can't escape medical procedures altogether, but at least they aren't life-threatening and frightening and traumatic. I'll happily give up driving to IMC or lying in a hospital bed and keep these miracles happening in our family. The service that has been given so unselfishly by so many has not gone unnoticed, either. It will come back around in blessings too numerous to hold. God has heard our prayers and answered them. We are all so thankful.