The Fuel to Fight

Wednesday, March 14, 2012: I'm taking a little break from work. I do transcriptions of call reports from people all over the country (and Canada!) and the company I work for just added a new client called InfuScience. Last December, we were lucky to see 100 minutes, total, in the system to be transcribed per day. On a good day, I can easily transcribe 100 minutes on my own. So, imagine that for the last two (or more) weeks, with the addition of this new company and several others, we've been seeing 300-plus minutes waiting to be transcribed - and the number hardly goes down, even after we've worked all day, because people continue to call in their reports. This helps with my paycheck, for sure, but it's also kind of overwhelming, especially when I log off at 10:00 PM and there's still over 200 minutes to transcribe in the system! (That's not really what I wanted to say in this post, but it's where my thoughts are...) So, this InfuScience deals with nurses and case managers who are coordinating in-home infusion care for patients being discharged from various hospitals. They talk about things like PICC lines and feeding tubes and IV antibiotics and how this particular patient isn't being discharged today because of complications, etc. I've just started doing these reports and with my current state of mind (or numbness of mind), I'm finding it very difficult to transcribe and stay detached. I ache for these poor patients being sent home with a feeding tube! I can't stand to hear that their discharge is being delayed another week! It's too close to the surface...thus, the need for a break. Any excuse will do...

I promised to tell you a few of the lighter aspects of my visit yesterday with Dr. Grossmann and team. I always take a written list of questions I want to ask, things that have bothered me or things I need to have clarification on. I also take Lindsey. She is a PRO at asking questions. Everything Dr. G says comes flying at me at break-neck speed and I have to absorb it a bit, chew it up, and then let it settle in my brain for a while before I can even begin to think of the why, where, when, what, or how. Not Linds. She absorbs like a sponge and out comes a question, a perfectly thought-filled question that hasn't even begun to take shape in my own head. Dr. G is always saying, "Now that's a good question and I'll get to that in a minute," or "Yes, let's go over that now, since you asked." Our meetings are always super-charged with questions and answers, and that's why I always leave feeling full to bursting, my head spinning.

One of the questions I had written down to ask yesterday seemed silly, but was weighing heavy on my mind. I've been feeling very guilty this past week, believing that every M&M and candy bar and donut and cookie I've eaten in the past few months has gone straight to the stomach of these little melanoma beasts, fueling their growth and speed to multiply and dominate. I've been afraid to eat anything sweet and sugary, for fear the next scan would show a huge tumor. So, I asked Dr. G if he believed there was any correlation between refined sugar and the growth of melanoma. He simply smiled and said, "I answer this question all the time, and no, there isn't any correlation. In fact," he said, "I think eating ice cream is a perfect way to reduce stress." WHAT?? Did you hear that, Mumsy? You've been right all along! We laughed, but in all seriousness, he said that people who start eliminating foods from their diet that don't really have to be eliminated have a harder time going through treatment and healing because their bodies react to the sudden change and try to compensate in other ways that may not be helpful. He said there must be moderation, of course, but sugar is a fuel that keeps us going & keeps us fighting.

I ate a Girl Scout cookie today in honor of the fight.

(Picture - Fall 2008 at Thanksgiving Point for the Pumpkin Fair - I love my family!)